§bLOgGin suCKz reALly§
m¥ pĂTĩeη©e ıS a vİ®tµe . @ Ǿ ? ǿ @ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀jUst b'cOs I'm diFferENt, doeSn'T meaN dAT i'm noT THe sAMe▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

27/05/2012, Sunday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Happily foolish, foolishly happy.
To feel like a fool now, or to feel happy for her now?
Feeling like a fool, seeing her contacting him on twitter,
the way she talked to him,
the fact that both of them alrdy got over each other.
Or is that the way ppl who got over each other eventually communicates?
I dunno, still thinking. Only thing I know now is that,
you can describe us using "Ex", to put in good words, and
"Strangers" can be used to describe us, in bad words.
Okay I'm abit harsh here, my bad.
The fact that my accounting test is coming in less than 2 days' time,
not prepared enough for the 2 chapters,
plus I'm like supposed to start on SDT today.
Okay I shall chiong tonight after movies etc with junyuan they all.


Foolishly happy, how she might be thinking now I guess.
Well, if he's the one who she rlly cares about, I'd surely wish them happiness,
like once again.
Anyw the most important thing is that she's happy.
Yeah, that shld be how I need to feel right now,
and not questioning myself constantly,
figuring out why she left, why she contacted him again,
why was her photo tweets of the two things I gave her deleted,
why is she replying me in this manner or watsoever,
too many Whys.
KXJH.
Wat I always used to tell her.
Wait, nobody uses Always and Used To ni the same context. KAO.
Have been wearing contacts for most of the days this month,
eyes becoming super duper juniorly dry (LOL).
Dark circles around my eyes forming permanent shades for my eyes.
And oh yaar, my eyebags. T.T
Suddenly missing that particular night, when she went to get her contact lens eyedrop,
just for me.
That was the sweetest moment I can ever get at work.
I mean it.
But no, aint gonna happen again. Anymore.
Dream on.
Okay feel like ending this post alrdy.
All the best for exams and life.
 

26/05/2012, Saturday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Wat now. Wat, Now?
Just bathed, back from a last minute birthday celebration for jiaxing.
Sudden thought that came to my mind,
when junyuan mentioned about jiaxing's birthday.
And there came the idea of using buying of drinks to go carpark slack as excuse,
to get cake and other necessary items,
then head for carpark for a surprise for him by 12am.
At first, it was spoiled by the wind for blowing out the candles for him,
then came the mata who was notified by the residents I think, for our noisy level,
while we were playing with whipped cream after having the cake.
Freaking attitude from mata. Sua, I'll take it as they need to carry out their duties,
just that that attitude of his can be improve. Or his rank is going to be stagnant I guess. LOL.
Cab home after that, had a nice hokkien channel chat with the driver about current affairs.
Oh yaar, forgot about the part which I had dinner tgt with jiaxing and 2 bottles of beer. LOLOL.
Felt rlly shag at burger king when james and junyuan joined. Cant tank lehh dunno why,
maybe that's wat they call by 闷酒 bahh, no matter how you drink, it will still taste bitter, and you will still end up drunk or almost.
But heng I managed to revive after that.
Very rusty at pool alrdy. Cant even succeed in shooting in a simple placing ball. Haizz.
Then came the first surprise, my granddaughter wenning.
The day was great tgt with them today. Wasted quite abit of time in schl today actually.
Presentation sucked thumb hard today.
And I though being late for more than  half an hour is alrdy bad enough for me.


Alright, back to topic.
Accidentally unfollowed her. Wow.
Who's going to believe that anyw.
Or rather, who;s going to care wat rlly happened.
Since someone is like happily contacting their first one.
Yaar.
The fact that she said that he alrdy got over her,
for one reason or another or none,
doesnt answer any doubts from me.
So, wat now?
And pls, like wat, now?
At this point of time, when my exam is like next week,
and I'm getting this kind of demoralisation?
Yaar you may tell me,
once you get over her then this will seem like very normal to me.
Yeah, right.
You try, come on.
I'll remove my shoes now for you to wear.
Tell me about it after that. Waiting.
Yeah, 9am tmrw,
rlly buey tank alrdy, the beer's taking its toll now.
Okay nitezz and take care.
 

22/05/2012, Tuesday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
U. US. USS.
Done with gen ed for sem1 term1!
Super shiok, cos I got put in effort to rlly analysis my article using the CRAAP framework,
even done some research! Although only about the author's background for original source and backup source.
But yeah, 1 down, 2 MST to go, 3 group works left.
1, 2, 3, LOL.
Wish for tmrw's WMA presentation to be a success, so I can have mood for work tmrw at 330pm.
And 4pm for thursday's OC. Some event which only allows male servers so yaar.
Okay actually I'm like multi-tasking now. Blogging and watching this video my friend posted,
Lovelife Documentart 紀錄片 完整版
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=TNMm2NlUZoU
Here's the link above incase anyone is interested.
It's about this 3 girls who had bone cancer, and Hei Ren and Fan Fan, the celebrity couple,
started this project to fulfill their dreams.
Then one of them didnt make it to the debut of this project's broadcast.
Very saddening.
Okay I haven finish the video, will take more about it in future post or something bahh maybe.


Thought about schl work,
left with friday to chiong as much Accounting as I can, then chiong as much SDT as I can,
leave monday for final revision for Accounting only, then after the paper start SDT straight,
plus wednesday and finally thursday morning before the paper starts at 12pm.
Have I alrdy talked about this? Okay nvm.
Then after SDT must start WAD straight, plus VAF video.
SDT case study shld be fine for us, alrdy ahead of others in class.
But I'll still look through, days before work submission to see wat to add on, incase any points missed.


Got quite a lexicon of new words, or Italian words perhaps,
for piano theory.
Rlly need to practise, or I will be wasting my money on alot of theory.


Okay done talking about schl, work and piano.
Now about the title of the post.
Yaar was talking about photos in the previous post.
Suddenly recall all those photos I took with her, starting from valentine's day.
And also clarke quay.
Didnt rlly bring or used the camera after that.
Oh, IT fair too.
Yeah, that time I was so proud to have her hands tgt with mine,
to greet so many friends.
Well okay, back to the photos.
I'm thinking if they like still exist, or deleted like long ago or something,
or maybe recently when she like rmb them,
or maybe I'm just thinking too much, and that she doesnt even look back at those photos or something.
Okay Think. Too. Much.
Oh yaar and,
suddenly wished that nobody reads my post.
Or I'll be like some kind of stupid emo who keeps on ranting like he got no friend or something.
Okay sua.
I guess this kind of style of ranting will maintain itself until like, my next relationship?
Wah like that must wait long long alrdy arh.
Okay, time to finish up the video. Although it's like 1 hour long.
Oh yaar, sudden rush of nostalgia when I saw her online on msn.
Then watched until she went offline.
And then online again via phone messenger.
Currentlt in Away mode.
Okay stopstopstoppppp.
Nitezz.
 

21/05/2012, Monday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Gone, bye, bygone.
Have to make this a fast one,
got Gen Ed to practise and check on jennifer if she finished the presentation slides we are presenting this wed.

Yeah here it goes.
Did I talk about the bird I saw which dig its head into the soil when I was otw to work on sat?
Hmm okay nvm.
Erm if I did, did I mention that I saw its carcass lying lifelessly on sun when otw to meet junyuan they all?
Well okay doesnt matter.
This morning, something even more saddening happened.
I was just checking to see if the carcass was still there, and to my surprise it was.
Then came this guy who was, I dunno, occupied with using his phone or something,
walking in the opposite direction as me, on that pavement where the carcass lies.
I was like staring at the carcass, until I saw it being stepped +  kicked by accident by that man.
1st thing that came to my mind was,
why didnt the cleaners remove the carcass of the dove?
So thinking of that, atw until WAD lesson,
I Googled using words like "handling animal carcass in singapore" or something.
Ended up at this link:

Yes, if you clicked the link,
8 steps. Only 8 steps to remove the carcass and let the animal rest in peace, be it beneath the soil or within the heat.
4 equipment: 1 pair of gloves, 2 leak-proof plastic bags, and 1 initiative. Disinfection agents are essential too if available.
I have to admit I didnt have any of them when I saw the carcass.
I'm very ashamed.
I have no idea wat were the cleaners doing.
Yaar, it was raining. But it will probably only take anybody with the 4 equipment like, less than 5 mins?
No excuses.

Okay wanted to rant actually.
Still trying to find reasons good enough for me to forgive.
Okay I dont want to talk about this anymore.
Was just looking through her Twitter images after so long,
only to realise the absence of the image of my valentine gift for her.
Alrights.
Couple of tweets which were meant to be like aiming me, also gone too. Dunno if they were deleted during that period or recently.
But that doesnt matter much, as seeing those tweets only reminds me of how I could have treated her in a better way.
Wat matters to me most is that gift.
My 1st ever gift I gave to a girl on valentine.
Yeah I did gave a rose too, which ended up dying cos of my overlook on its water consumption.
Okay this doesnt make sense.
But yaar, that gift matters more to me.
Cos that was the gift that exchanged me my 1st ever valentine gift from a girl,
a whole can (I dunno how to describe its packaging) of Sticky Smiley.
Was abit awkward when I passed the gift and when I received my gift,
but that was all I miss now.
Is she like totally moving on and getting over alrdy?
Either way, I wish I know,
and I dont wish to know too.
Contradicting much again.
Yaar maybe she would soon come to realise that,
she forgot to unfavourite tweets she favourited of mine or something.
That will be like the end of us bahh. If she want it this way.
But watever the case, I nvr regretted knowing her, liking her, spending my time with her before.
Okay, enough of ranting,
start on Gen Ed gogogo!
Sleep early ppl, nitezz.

 

20/05/2012, Sunday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Bypass, past by.
Was working ystd, 9am to 230am.
Yes I OT-ed again, she dont like it when.. Argh just ignore me.
Didnt thought last evening will be such a tough one when we were setting up.
All the way I was doing miscellaneous stuff, starting from table numbers and number stands,
which I was almost done when alan then told me that we were going to use the event organiser's table numbers and stands.
-,-
Was asked to settle chair cover, door gift (honey), and napkin after that,
which chair cover was settled by jingyi, door gift was settle by me jianqun and jingyi,
and napkin settled by tianming.
LOL why do I sound so formal.
Went for dinner after that.
Oh yaar wanted to say,
during setup,
got a sudden nostalgia,
wishing that she was still working at ritz,
and I would be like looking out for her without showing that I am,
and then randomly passing by her to tell her how long she didnt drink water,
and she would be like 'Oorh'.
Sad case is, this probably isnt going to be happening anymore,
or wait, she's not even going to come back to ritz, so let alone the random passing by etc.
Hmm.
Last tuesday,
was it? Or the tuesday before last tuesday?
Okay, my point is,
I think I saw her friend.
At T14B or something, At 2nd floor where there is an air-conditioned room that caters for quite a number of students to study  etc.
Hmm, if it was rlly her, she's probably going to let her know that she saw me in SP.
Okay doesnt rlly matter to me anyw.
Does it?
Okay shut up kelvin.


Going to be a hectic week for me ahead,
filled with assignment submission and presentation and working of 3 days,
plus practising piano and revising for MST.
Argh.
To break them down one by one,
actually it's not as tough as it might seem.
Assignment and presentation, group work.
Work, err.. At least I feel happier and more like myself at work than in schl.
Piano, hmm if possible I practise at night when not working.
MST, try to chiong as much as I can, tgt with junyuan they all if they can study tgt with me.
So yaar, jiayou kelvin.


Well, I'm trying not to think so much now, caring so much,
just to pls the rest and trying to do a good job,
although I might neglect feelings unintentionally.
But yeah, from now on,
unless it's my besties and bros at work,
I'm going to fcuk-heck care.
Ps vulgar hahahas.
The asahi ystd after clearing M9 was shiok. Heng not drunk hahahahas.
Yeah, she dont like me drinkin.. Argh.
Okay enough, start doing your work.
Jiayou.
 

17/05/2012, Thursday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Break up, break down.
Not wat you think it is. Another break up or something.
To actual fact, I haven had any, in a sense, in any sense, so, yaar.
Just trying to imply the point on breaking things up and breaking down of things.
Errrr, sort of like mean the same thing arh -,-
Nvm, I just rant laaa.
Okay, break up and break down in the sense that,
when you find that things are like breaking apart, separate them further, into clearer parts.
Since there's no way it's going to be able to be fixed. Wat's broken is broken.
Put it in simpler terms,
when things are alrdy fcuked up,
dont bother to fcuk them tgt in any ways, it's useless.
Just fcuk them down even further until the rest are able to see how fcuked up things are becoming,
but keeping in mind that no matter how fcuked up things are,
there'll still be some way out. One way or another, there will still be a way out.
Sorry, abit vulgar cos I dont like it when ppl do not appreciate my efforts.
Notice that I purposely misspelled the actual word.
So it sounds like the French brand, France Connection United Kingdom or something. Hmm ehh wrong bahh. LOL.

Yaar, wanted to talk about my dream on monday. Is it monday? Okay watever.
Dreamt that I went back to the past. Yes, again.
This time with my sec schl mates.
I can only rmb my granddaughter, seowting.
we went back to admiralty primary, in the year 2004,
when I was in 4G.
I know that cos someone in that dream found my journal.
In this dream me and seowting's age were like 10, but physical looks still maintained as of wat we are now.
So it's like, freaking weird. But awesome dream, so sua.
I managed to identify tinghao in the dream, 1stly by his looks,
secondly, err you might not be able to accept this but,
by his twitter name. -,-
LOL.
There was this twitter name with the @ in front, projected on top of his head.
In the dream I knew his twitter name. To actual fact, I dont even know if he got a twitter account in reality.
LOLx2.
Then comes the exciting part. The part that woke me up from my dream.
I happened to sneak into the next class, the class to the left of mine.
The class was like super attentive, reciting some passage from the textbook.
And I was like talking so loudly, they hushed me, signalling to me of some kind of danger attracted by my loud voice.
Then came this unbelievable 'Dementor' thingy, exactly like those from Harry Potter,
floating past the classroom windows from the corridor outside.
I jitao silent mode -,-
I saw it heading to me class, was a little worried, so I sneaked back into my class from its back door.
Only to find a class in silent mode, with one of my classmate standing in front,
being ordered by 'it' to jump a specific number of times, then another classmate to guess the number of times jumped.
Wrong answer was given, and err, something bad happened to that classmate I cant rmb. -,-
Next thing I know, I was the one chosen to answer.
I answered wrongly I think, from the atmosphere created at that point of time after I answered.
Woke up after that.

Yeah, woke up.
You know, it's hard to find another friendship you'll rlly put in effort in maintaining, especially if you alrdy got your own clique from last time.
Compromising, doing that we cut down some bit from each others' piece,
and match them tgt.
I'm learning, but that doesnt mean that I'm stupid or watsoever.
So dont push it.
Learning, in many sense.
Keep on learning everyone.
Nitezz.
 

14/05/2012, Monday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Seriouslying.
No matter how you read it, it will still sound very dao. LOL.
Okay, you can read it as seriously-ing, or serious-lying.
Whichever's the case, makes absolutely no sense at all so, yaar.
Just trying to start another new post.

Didnt go for piano ensemble practice today in the end,
the fact that there isnt any for me to attend.
So I reserved that amount of time to do WMA with my group.
Was quite dead for the first 15 mins or so,
but jennifer managed to start the ball rolling very rapidly by giving super constructive answers.
I dont understand, she got the potential to shine and stand tall with great achievements (okay abit exaggerating -,-),
just that her attitude isnt there, and she's abiiiit lazy.
Okay just hope she'll finally buck up soon. Like asap der very soon. Or else haizz.
Good thing about today is, I was actually quite serious.
Due to the fact that,
I didnt wait for the rest to reach JE, left there at about 8:50am.
Cos I dont want to miss that amount of time teacher reserved to do the Pre-activity before class starts,
and those qns are actually taken out from our homework.
Meaning, if you managed to finish them during the Pre-activity time before class starts officially,
you would have cut down so much time for doling homework cos you alrdy done most of it as Pre-activity.
Okay wrote too much -,-

At SDT class today, I was even more focused.
Partly due to the fact that teacher actually complimented us on our work on the timeline for journey mapping.
SO MUCH WIN HAHAHAS.
So came the motivation to chiong the Use Case diagram.
And there has to be these few of them playing a fool and not focusing.
I was on the brink of a very attention-seeking reprimand for my group members,
but I held it back, substituted it with silence and obvious actions to signal them that I'm actually pissed.
So I managed the group from there, and in the end everyone of us was contributing to that last bit,
although it wasnt that significant actually. Meaning it could actually be done solo.
But it saves more time if more ppl were to be lending a hand each.
So, yaar.
Still trying hard to push up my confidence lvl and management skills,
without turning myself into some control freak or bossy ass. Any other names too.

Oh yaar, I actually celebrated Mother's Day with my mom in the end ystd.
Or did I alrdy mentioned that in my previous post?
Okay nvm sua.
You know, I was just thinking about the issue on being too serious.
Wait, did I alrdy talked about this in my past posts before too?
Nvm I shall add on.
Yaar, after all,
being serious, still beats those who are playful but still can work der those kind.
Cos the sense of authority and responsibility is there, which you cant rlly identify in those playful ppl.
Recognition and reputation will naturally follow that.
Audi OC tmrw after schl, hopefully it'll end early and I'll have some time to finally revise JSTL and continue SDT.
Have to chiong to find my article for Gen Ed later, and to complete that last qn Problem 2-6A for Accounting too.
Might be working this friday if possible, promised max tay, long time no seeee.
But I'll be left with wednesday, thursday and sunday morning to practise piano.
Wont have time later bahh.
Rlly dont want to waste another $50 dollars this sunday so,
jiayou!!!
Nitezz and drink more water yaar, the sun got no eyes these days.
 

13/05/2012, Sunday (again)

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
-,-
Yaar, another Sunday of two posts.
Cos I'm bored. Very.
Did full theory today during piano. Next week going to do fully practical so rlly must practise alrdy.
Next exam intake is July and Sept. If not next year March liao. Must jiayouuu.
My teacher suggested me to take exam at grade 5 or 6 though, cant remember exactly.
Purpose is that I can take grade 5 or 6 practical if I have grade 5 or 6 cert for theory.
Meaning no need to waste so much money lor.
But if I'm not practising then it'll be equivalent to money wasted too. So yaar.

Head down to Dhoby Ghaut's Emicakes to get cake for kisstina which xiangyun pre-ordered.
Train was super packed, have to hold up the cake so high, so scary lor LOL.
Then headed to Marina Square from City Hall, only to prepare for a failed surprise for kisstina. -,-
They freaking saw me behind the pillar lorrr. T.T
The durian ice cream cake was very nice though. Haven had durians for looong time alrdy.
Had quite a chat with they all, atw until we went home.
Hope I get to go Patio and not Podium again for this year's final F1 in Singapore.
And then Barclays next year. Going to bring up some one-sided memories. Emo again.
And hope I'll have time for Air Show next year too.
But by that time, I'll surely be reminiscing alot of things again. Argh emo shit, just shut up.
Hopefully I'll finally get a birthday alone next year, valentine's too. Just like those years.
Those years.
那些年. Hahas. How did I even get to this.
Suddenly recall those movies we watched tgt. Those movies that brought us closer tgt without us knowing.
And my very first couple seat taken ever, tgt with my favourite girl.
Very last one with her too.
Okay stop it. Not now pls.
No one is going to see watever you wrote. Even if someone does, it doesnt concern that person most likely.

Was ooVoo-ing with jasmin, mingsian and jiawei.
Have no idea why I even agreed to turn on my ooVoo.
It's like spamming vinegar on the ulcer on my lips.
Lips which are hurt, but had so much wonderful memories.
Okay to those who have no idea wat happened, this will probably sound damn wrong.
I just wanted to say actually, that I wished the one at the other side of the webcam is her.
The fact that I know that it's not going to happen, ever again.
Well, finally get to experience that kind of feeling from a relationship.
Something to console me, but not something to look forward to.
Seriously, how long is it going to take to get over someone completely?
Well if you're even thinking of this qn, then forget it.
You were not that into the relationship you were in.
There's no way you can get over someone completely. Even for a real bastard who goes around breaking ppl's heart.
There'll still be this one place, one song, one action, one thing or one name, that'll remind you of those time you wished you werent reminded of.
Okay I shall tweet that. Will be getting quite a few retweets for this one I guess.

Wah 12am++ alrdy. Lesson at 9am tmrw, wake up at 7:30am, leave home at 8am, reach JE by 8:30am.
Sleep at 1:30am and I'll be left with 6 hours of sleep. Hmm.
Wasted quite sometime on ooVoo being funny and serious.
Just dont like to leave any of then waiting alone for the other 2 to come back so, yaar.
Okay 20 mins to 1am. Just left ooVoo.
Ending this post too. To start on Accounting and then SDT after that.
So jiayou, sleep soon, nitezz.
 

13/05/2012, Sunday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
HMD.
Not Hong Mao Dan.
It's HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Yes, and dont purposely wait until this day to bring your mom out or give her a treat or something.
You shld alrdy be doing that like, usually?
Yes YOU. Whoever you are.
Okay, lots of things I want to share from work ystd.
Just came back from work actually, OT until 2:30am, 3am cab.


First of all,
thnks to ervina for changing my shift from 5:30pm to 9am!!!
But have to chiong extra hard to revise SDT & finish Accounting homework.
1 article for Gen Ed CA1 too. Kao.
Have to discuss about WMA keyword search with group members too.
Oh yaar, almost forgot about piano. -,-
Going to be wasting another $50 this time I guess.
Hope I'll have mood for anything tmrw.


Found $5 at work today, was reluctant on whether to ask the indian guy near us if it belongs to him.
My colleague suggested for me to just keep it, treat it as a personal reward, or just good luck.
But at that point of time I was only thinking of whether is that $5 a very important sum to the owner.
I reconciled eventually, concluded that you cant rlly do much with $5 with this current KNS economy.
Okay the point on having lots of things to share from work,
I cant remember much now so, sorry to disappoint anybody.
If anybody is actually reading my blog. Lol I know that wont be happening.
Okay one more thing,
ervina offered me herman's locker,
outcome will be that I will be freed from my TMD lock-spoiled locker, details shall not be revealed.
Suddenly recall that day at USS. She was actually angry at me, the fact that she warned me not to put it in my pocket.
Alrights, cut it.
Work today was fine, and I was like reminding myself from time to time to suppress my lameness,
and bring up my confidence and firmness when taking my group members.
Although things didnt go that smoothly, only the first few courses our group managed to emerge as one of the fastest group to finish serving one course after another, where thereafter we were at the verge of screwing up but,
we struggled and still pulled it off.
Sudden hunger. Okay chaoji random.


Wasnt feeling sleepy at work today, except the short nap during lunch break.
*Yawns*
Suddenly recalled, she always likes to complain about my yawning being "contagious lehhh" to her.
Her complains, I will nvr get bored of them.
Argh. If I'm going to keep on doing this, recalling all these and miss her,
I'm going to spend more than a year for getting over, which is longer than the guy who took a year to get over her.
I rllly dont understand.
Why does she even have the idea of getting over me in the first place?
Feelings? Was that even supposed to be an issue to us?
Okay I have to say that, I was the one who started the shit of saying about losing feelings,
but I remember too that, I was saying about the feeling of courting,
not feeling of liking or loving or watsoever.
So, wth?
Okay tired of thinking alrdy, going to go to bed.
WAKAO 4am++ alrdy, Okayokay.
Nitezz.
 

11/05/2012, Friday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
I miss you so, I miss you, so?
Okay too random. Pls control.


Managed to practise abit of piano last night,
but felt extremely restless and sleepy after I started on SDT.
Okay sua, I was lying on my bed when I started reading the slides.
So I thought, I'll just revise tmrw afternoon since schl ends at 1pm tmrw.
And then the magic happened.
My SDt teacher texted me and my vice class rep that he's seeing doctor so lesson cancelled.
Meaning lesson starts at 9:30am instead of 8:30am.
And just nice, he texted me at 6:29am, when my alarm went of at 6:30am.
So I spent like 15 to 20 mins just to find and text whoever got their phone numbers on fb,
and those who are alrdy in my contact list,
to tell them about the good news hahahahahas.
SO BAD. I did texted the teacher "Take care" though. Okay not helping at all. -,- Sorry cher.
And so I got less than an hour of extra sleep eventually.


WAD as first lesson instead. Classmate posted in class group stating she dont understand shit since practical 1.
Triggered my urge to get the JSTL(Java Standard Tag Library) textbook asap.
Suddenly miss HTML and Java. Like so fun, though not easy to learn I can say, unless attentive.
Oh yaar, getting myself distant from classmates now.
Since my opinions are only like heard during group discussions when some arent willing to voice out theirs,
I'll make my unnecessary words appear lesser and lesser now. Like rlly little.
Making friends hmm, not in my agenda now so,
I'll let nature take its course but if it's going to seem like natural disaster to me,
then forget it. I still got my besties anyw. Not like I cant live without friends or classmates like those ppl.
Not like I cant survive in poly or watever without them.


Okay forgetting the whole point of this post.
Was otw back home on the train,
thinking about our stuff again.
Okay I've no rights to use "our" anymore.
The past's stuff. Right, sounds more logical.
I was wondering, did she rlly open up to me?
I mean, cos I was just observing other couples,
how they interact with each other.
I know, each and every couple have their own ways of interacting,
but I recalled the way we talked to each other, be it in private, in person or in public,
yeah we tend to be able to open up more on the phone cos there's no need to exchange any expression or actions,
just some chats we loved.
But in person,
yeah again, she did take initiative to share things with me,
and responds from me could be advices, some lame jokes made out of it, or a simple "Oorh".
Endless stream of convos in person doesnt seem to have happened to us before.
The fact that I still cant figure out why cant she just text me that she wanted to talk to me,
when I sang until 6am with colleagues one day.
Well I'm still trying to find out about this, not cos I'm insisting to find out wat happened,
but wat refrained her from sending that text telling me she wants to talk to me,
despite knowing I'm singing with my colleagues.
From wat she know of me, I will definitely be taking that call if she did,
but the fact that, she didnt.
Left me with much doubts. Shldnt be having any doubt but, I cant help it.
The fact that she mentioned having something she wanted to tell me thereafter,
explains nothing.
But can I conclude that,
It's not time yet.
Things were just getting on the track,
and I was rushing into things?
Wait, "things' doesnt sound right here. But my vocab is limited so yaar.
Were chances given and I did not realise?
Or was I not appreciative enough?
Or getting too comfortable with her?
Or is the unwellness at that point of time being thought of as a reason, so much that it actually starts to sound like excuse?
Well, the only Good thing is, after everything is over,
I'm thinking more and found out that a relationship's not that easy to manage and sustain, so are friendship and kinship,
and the rest are just Bad things I found out about myself.
So actually, thinking so much, the only qn that's boggling in my head is boiled down to, let go or hope?


You know, the thing about making wishes is that,
you'll have to wait.
Wait for the perfect moment to make a wish,
wait for the wish to come true,
but sometimes ending up wishing you'd nvr wished.
Okay just tweeted that. Found that phrase quite meaningful. In a bad way though.
LOL.
Working evening shift tmrw. Siannn. OT bahh, at least can clock 9 hours, $50++ for tmrw.
Plus wednesday's pay at Ritz and tuesday's pay at CJ,
okay managed to hit $100 for this week, that's something for me to look forward to at least,
for tmrw's work.
Suddenly recalled that she doesnt OT, neither was she ever delighted to hear me OT at any time.
1am's exception.
Okay, enough of ranting.
Just purely ranting and emptying thoughts running through my mind cos my besties dont have time to meet up.
Week 4 of schl. Week 6 and 7 will be busy!
Oh yaar, feel like going for a real haircut after sooo long. Find it so pointless keeping the length now. Okay considering.
Jiayou studying and working, dont give up. Be firm!!!
Nitezz.
 

10/05/2012, Thursday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Tried, Tired. Retried, Re-tired.
Dont worry, you wont be expecting an emo post this time.
If there is actually any reader lol.
Want to talk about money and work.
Worked last week, wednesday after schl and saturday morning shift.
Calculated that I will earn $143 for the week.
Hmm so let's say if I sustain this kind of working frequency,
$150 each week, $600 per month,
minus $45 concession, $40 phone bill, $200 piano,
and about $10x5x4 = $200 pocket money for food etc in schl,
I'll still have about $100++ increase in my own equity.
KAO accounting hahahas.
Not too difficult, hope I can score for this module.
3.5 to 3.7 will be my desired range of GPA for this semester.
And yaar, hardwork needed will be more than how much I'm putting in now.


Talking about piano expense,
was intending to suspend my lessons for this month,
forgetting the fact that I need to notify the music schl a month in advance -,-
So I'm still thinking if I want to suspend the lessons for month of June. Hmm.
$200 will be debited into assets for the unspent money reserved for piano,
$200 credited out of my own equity and debited into my capital likewise.
OKAY enough of accounting.
This post has alrdy got too much numbers for the record.
Need alot more motivation to practise piano. Alot, rlly.
The fact that I've lost that recently. Not so recent anymore actually.


Sleeping lesser and lesser as I agreed to work for those weekdays,
be it Ritz or CJ.
As little as only 2 to 3 hours plus.
And the fact that I reach JE earliest most of the time now,
when all the others I waited for lives as near to JE as literally JE, and the furthest lives at CCK.
Only reason for them to be late is studying Dip plus topics.
Or CCA for a few.
The more they shld have self control to go straight back home after schl,
keeping in mind that you'll at least accomplish something fruitful if you dont always stray aimlessly in shopping centre after schl.
Sleeping at least accomplishes the promise to myself to get more rest.
The rest I shld have had at night,
when working, studying or just procrastinating.


Oh talking about CCA, I guess I'll be getting back to piano ensemble next week.
MIA for superrrr long alrdy. Go back confirm embarrassed ttm. T.T
Year ones coming in somemore. 3rd round of embarrassment.
Okay good luck ahhhwong.


My besties, must rlly thnk them for willing to hear my rants.
My stomach, must thnk it for taking so much shit I take in when I was down.
My memories, thnk you for still being so clear whenever I want to bring you up.
My eyes, thnk you too for allowing me to look forward to the future and look back when I need to.
Okay the last one abit lousy -,-
Alrights, time to start revising,
with Jay Chou's concert playing in the background.
Oh shit and I just broke my hairband. T.T
Jiayou and try to get more sleep, best at night though. Nitezz.
 

06/05/2012, Sunday (again)

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Raining Sunday.
Contradicting much?
Okay sua, the fact that I have 2 posts written in the same day is alrdy nonsense, shldnt be adding on to that.
Just sort of thought through again. Yaar I know, so much of thinking through,
and nothing adds up right as I think again.
But thinking back, the point about the guy making her feel that she's pretty,
I recalled that day when I when to Bugis's steamboat+bbq shop for dinner with colleagues.
She seemed so shy and reluctant to go, but wat I did was only calming her down by telling her that,
all the colleagues are those we're familiar with, and it's just a simple dinner.

You know, that point of time, I could have just held her hand,
reassure her that she wont feel abit embarrassed with me and with them,
and let go of her hand, only when I exited from the lift of her block.
That amount of confidence boost. Which I didnt realise I could give.
Too little. Too late. Too bad.
Okay ending this post. Good afternoon. Hope there'll be rainbow later.
 

06/05/2012, Sunday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Blink of an eye.
Okay that's it, enough of rubbish titles to start off another post.
But actually, got link der la.
Was dragging a trashbag-full of dirty cloths from Chihuly, passing by M floor,
met by a bunch of people who resembles tourists, asking for assistance to exit our hotel without passing lobby.
I instructed them to take the guest lift to the 1st floor and approach our staff to exit by our staff entrance,
not realising that only celebrities or someone with more than enough reasons to keep a low profile,
would avoid using the lobby exit, like them.
Realising that when I was at the laundry department,
I quickly ran down the spiral stairway to Stella, and bumped into them again,
this time I directed them atw until LPD, where I caused a mayhem at the ballroom backlane as we passed by.
Tapping out using my card, I bid farewell to this minority, with thnks from the celebrity too.
YES celebrity.
I shall not reveal who he is, just going to let you know that he's the one with the brightest future in showbiz from Fahrenheit.
Okay end of story. I literally went shouting his name after I walked back to the ballroom's backlane. T.T
That somehow links back to my title actually, he actually just came and went, at the blink of an eye,
if you assume I was keeping my other eye on the direction I was leading his company and him to.
Okay sua. Not the 1st time I'm seeing him anyw. But ARGHGHGHGHGH!!! Okayokay stopstop.


Wanted to talk about my dream for friday night,
wanted to post on saturday morning but was working.
Okay shit I just realised I forgot to take my medicine for lunch dinner and night.
Watever then.


2nd time alrdy, I'm beginning to wonder why if it's just me.
Dreamt that I was courting this girl, who has a striking resemblance as her.
When I say striking, I mean 99%.
But still, it's not her.
I was like so happy being with this girl, only reason being that she looks like her so much.
That was the concluding statement I got as I was otw to work on saturday morning.
The dream was like trying to deliver a mssg to me I feel.
Something like, nvr to see the next girl as the previous one, or leave the next girl alone.
And also, only reason for me to be liking the next girl, is that she possesses some factors similar to the previous girl's.
Time Check: 2:20A.M.
The fact that she's even online now, makes no difference to the fact that wat I dreamt of can only be a dream.
Okay this sentence doesnt make any sense.


Well, rush her to sleep?
LOL, who am I to do that now. Friend?
Acquaintance?
Or is stranger a better word?
Or am I just assuming all these and she's actually feeling very normal with all these now?
If you nvr ask, you'll nvr know.
But by asking, you might end up hearing something which you nvr wanted to know in the 1st place.


Okay mssg sent. Going to get back similar reply as the previous time I guess.
Or perhaps something even simpler, even colder.


Oh, blink of an eye.
Wait, in fact I haven even blinked my eye, and there's a response.
Expected.
Okay that's it, ending this post. Nitezz ppl.
 

03/05/2012, Thursday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Falling sick vs. falling in love.
Yaar okay, enough of titles that do not make any sense. But yaar.


Just got back from work actually. Started 6pm instead of 530pm as I was trying to finish as much for VAF module as possible with my group.
Super sucky day. Okay bad luck I mean.
No time for water break for the event just now, didnt rlly have my dinner.
Fortunately I didnt work until 1am or I'd have gone mad, or dead either one.
Took the 1230am transport home, van only reach woodlands at 130am.
The van was driving down the slope to get to the main road,
didnt realise the hump at the junction to the main road,
causing the entire van to jerk very hard upwards,
resulting in me having my head hitting the van's ceiling with sound,
and my mouth knocking against my laptop that was in my bag which I was hugging onto.
That's not the worst,
the uncle was then dropping the 2nd last staff off some flat within Circle Green,
and I was thinking maybe I have to walk abit form the bus stop to reach home.
Turned out, he drove the other way, out of Circle Green,
out of my house's vicinity completely, almost out of Woodlands.
HENG I shouted for the uncle to drive me back. He thought there wasnt any staff left after that 2nd last one.
He obviously forgot about the sound of my head being hit against the van's ceiling, which he himself heard clearly.
Forgive him for his age, memory failing. But having seen him for so many times, knowing that he's actually experienced,
this kind of situation shldnt be happening at any cost. Let alone driving over the speeding limit to send staff home asap.
Just a casual remark, I reminded him to check the list the next time to make sure, and also not to drive so fast,
ended it with a Thnks Uncle.


Got that falling-sick-but-not-yet-maybe-still-can-tahan-awhile-more feeling, after bathing.
Well.. 2 slices for breakfast, then late lunch as dinner. OKAY THAT WAS TOO LITTLE FOR ME.
But, my monster appetite haven been recovering abit, I dunno why.


And then I turned on my lappie to check the slides for tmrw, came to realise now that I'm actually rllyyyyyy hungry, but yaar.
I realised my hunger in the middle of work just now actually. Just came to neglect about it as I was working.
But again yaar, who cares.


Was talking to my colleague about managing work and studies, and also expenses.
I did a rough estimation of the amount of money I need for each month,
my transportation, phone bill, own allowance, piano lessons,
UNDERESTIMATED. T.T
Working morning shifts + OT every Saturdays isnt enough now.
Unless. If I decrease my own allowance by spending less on food & entertainment.
If I dont exceed my free outgoing calls for my mobile plan.
If I work during 1 weekday/+ Sunday evening too.
That will be very CHOR.
But then, bobian. And yaar, bobian rlly.
Might consider taking another part-time job if there's actually lobang.
...Wakao like that will be difficult to juggle between work, studies and health.
Health shld be priority. ALWAYS OKAY.
Studies next. No doubts.
Okay I'm out of the point alrdy LOL.


I'm ending this, so I can wake up at 615am later successfully,
by saying,
hope I wont fall sick
or fall in love,
so soon.
HAHAS yaay my title makes sense after alllllll.
Okay take care and drink plenty of water yaar.
 

01/05/2012, Tuesday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Labour Day, Happy?
To think about it, causes much contradiction.
In one hand, it's actually a day to commemorate the labours' efforts in building the bits and pieces that made up the land we're stepping our foot on,
but on the other hand, it's a public holiday for people from all working divisions, students & adults etc.
Okay sua, that's actually another excuse for me to start another post which no one wishes to read.

Been thinking about this for quite some time alrdy.
Over-protectiveness.
Am I doing it the wrong way? Or too much of it?
The thing is, this have been my way of treating ppl who are close to me.
It's always at the end of it, then it's being pointed out to me of that issue.
The fact that I'm trying hard to correct this for that sake now, seems pretty meaningless.
But that doesnt mean that I'm going to stop correcting it though, many things that I'm trying to change now.
Change, for the better?
Better in wat sense? Better of me, or better of ppl I will meet in the future?
Well either way will be beneficial though. Thnks alot for pointing that out to me.

The fact that pointing it out at the end of everything, isnt something everyone will be able to accept though.
In the sense that, everything has alrdy ended, so the point of correcting for the sake of everything isnt quite there anymore.
Wait, everything is a very vague word.
Let's just say that it's a process, learning process.
That actually made me wondered how so many guys who doesnt even look like they could maintain a relationship well,
actually got attached with their counterparts for as long as it could be measured by years.
Looks can be deceiving? Or am I just looking down at them?
Or shld I take it as, different kind of ppl possesses different qualities for relationships?
Wait, the part on looking down.
People who can accept flaws of their counterparts, that's love?
So is over-protectiveness regarded as a flaw too?
If that's the case, your counterpart doesnt love you/ love you enough if she cant accept that?
Or is it just her character which cant take too much of over-protectiveness?
Or wait, do most of the girls dislike/ cant accept over-protectiveness from their guy?

Dislike vs. Can't accept.
 Wow I didnt realise this post can be stretched to this extend. Or wait, am I just thinking too much -,- (You would say Yes I guess)
Dislike is different from hate, that's something to console yourself if someone dislikes you though.
But too much of dislike leads to hatred. That wraps up the definition of this word I guess.
Cant accept facts, cant accept flaws?
Flaws, can they be regarded as facts alrdy?
Fact that they are still in the process of developing.
But actually hor, once they are regarded as a flaw by someone, it's enough to be considered a fact liao la hor?
So yaar.
But back to the O-P issue. Flaw, fact or failure?
I regard all 3 as answers.
It's my biggest flaw, a fact that cant be changed, and my worst failure.

感情用事?
要是做事情没有放感情, 就一点意义也没有, 和机器人没有两样.
但是其实大家在做很多事情是, 都是一昧的做, 把感情放一边.
是, 有些时候是应该把感情放一边的.
但是如果感情的事你不放感情去对待, 等于是一种消遣.
有些人也许觉得, 放感情的话就输了.
可是我觉得, 在感情上没有输过, 又怎么能真正了解到赢了的感受呢?
赢? 意义又在哪里?
不在意这些, 是不是就代表没有真正为爱情奋斗过?
而是不是一定要输过, 才能了解奋斗过的痛苦?
而如果只有一方在奋斗着, 那是不是代表另一方应该是在享受被对方奋斗争取的过程,
还是应该一同奋斗, 还是两者兼施?
Wah I buey tahan liao, spammed too much chinese words.
Time to stop hahahas.
Enough of nonsense  I guess.
Juggle your time well between sleep, studies, work and friends(and love) yaar.
Jiayou.
 

27/04/2012, Friday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Dream on, dream off.
Right, if you guessed it correctly.
Am going to talk about my dream last night.
Yaar, if you guessed it correctly again,
I dreamt of her.
Dreamt that she lost her memory,
last thing she could rmb traces back to somewhere in 2008.
In the dream, I held her hand,
just like those times we had.
I even hugged her tightly from the side, with my face touching hers.
She looked happy.
I even felt that we're like even closer than how we were before.
But the thing is, I was actually aware of the fact that she lost her memory in that dream.
I broke the smile on her face into a outburst of tears, by interrogating her, trying to make her realise that
the reason why she can be so cheerful is that, she has lost her memory.
Meaning, forgotten about wat happened on April 6 2012 and etc.
I thought about this otw to schl in the train,
asking myself wat mind of mindset was I having when I was interrogating her in the dream.
Face reality?
I realised I did not think about this dream the entire day, not until I was otw home.


Yeah, managed to control myself from wasting away more time by insisting on going home earlier.
Leisure and slacking can wait.
Right now, I'm going to prove many wrong perceptions of me wrong.
Going to control my temper too.
Alright finished my piece.
Have a great weekend, before the start of a new week.
 

23/04/2012, Monday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
This is it.
Isn't it? I guess.
I had enough of my emo posts alrdy too.
Just because I said something which I have to regret so much just by looking at it now.
Feeling like a completely loser in love, work and maybe schl too, is another thing.
Yaar, ranting time. Time to Alt + F4 for you, anyone out there reading this.

My opinion,
in love, carrying torch can be a very common thing.
Getting in love is the second most common thing,
breakups are the third, getting heartbreaks shld be the last then.
Heartbreaks.
Wat actually did that?
Words? Actions? Unintentional or on purpose?
Who actually caused that to happen?
Yourself? The other party?
Reason being?
Your bad? The other party's?
So the last qn is, is anything going to help now?
Or everyone shld just cool down for the time being?
Or shld everyone just move on?
Dying is not an option, at any cost.
LOL why am I even talking about death.
Okay nvm.

That's about it.
NAH.
Hahas, the purpose of my posts nowadays is for ranting purpose,
and to let out things which I cant reveal on the other social platforms.
Well I certainly hope all my recent posts are seen by any one concerned,
rlly.
If so, I guess I've made my point, so I'm not going to take back any words this time.
The cooling period is supposed to be over by now.
So is my body supposed to have recovered since that time.
Have I? Hmm, otw bahh.
Couple of muscle aches all over from work on saturday,
no more coughing, no more running nose,
no more phl..
Okay, still got abiiiit of phlegm left bahh. Doesnt matter, still going to go for work tmrw hahahahahas.
Yaar, no event during weekends mah. Replace my granddaughter, just hope she spend those hours resting,
when I'm working tmrw.
At least there's going to be like close to $50 of money incurred into my bank account for this week,
might seem abit little but, better than nothing right!
Okay, This is it, I'll stop here. Before this posts gets anymore random than it alrdy is.
LOL.
Nitezzz.
 

22/04/2012, Sunday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Wishes, here only.
Might sound pathetic, to actual fact it is,
that I'm actually going to send her regard, through this platform.
Well, who cares. Yaar seriously, who cares? -,-

And the fact that she's even online now,
Time check: 8:05PM
isnt going to make this any less pathetic.
Okay watever the point is,
I just want, only want,
to wish her all the best for schl tmrw,
and subsequent semesters in poly in her business course.
Oh and talking about this,
I was told by my colleague in Ritz ystd who actually saw her during orientation,
who actually asked her about us.

Wow, us.
Didnt know that I could be using this word to link the two of us tgt again after so long. Although it's pretty much pointless now.
I was quite, I mean very surprised to hear that ystd.
First thing, well I DID realised they are both in the same course, same poly, same year.
The fact that they shld know each other. Or rather my colleague shld know her, at least.
But the thing is my colleague actually talked to her. About us.
Okay, I know this might sound very bad to my colleague, she was just curious.
But some things are just better if it's kept confined and not known.
My colleague told me she asked her wat happened between us.
My next reaction was... Err I forgot wat I said to my colleague.
I only rmb that I didnt talk to my colleague much after that.
Well, she did hesitated on whether to tell me ornot, thinking that it might be a bad idea to let me know.
Back to the point on having some things which is better if it's just you yourself or only those involved to know.

Okay,
Time check: 8:25PM
I just Fb texted her.
Intended response is: Okay.
Or something else. Something plain and simple.
Honestly speaking,
I rlly hope my colleague dont care so much about me.
Only this particular colleague I would say.
Because, the fact that I see her as my little sister,
and the fact that that colleague also knows that me and her were close,
I dont want to make things awkward.
The fact that I have no mood for any relationship currently, with her still in mind.

Okay she just replied.
Quite an unexpected answer, not something that sounds like she wants to end the convo immediately or something.
Okay, I guess I said things too quickly.
After my second sentence, the green circle turned into the handphone icon, without any reply.
I've said my piece so, yaar.

First week of schl, slack.
Got saboed to become Accounting rep, thought it was the worst shit,
but came to a conclusion that there're only two Accounting lessons each week,
next thing I know,
got saboed to become the Class rep. How great is my life?
Well looking at the bright side, hope that can train me in terms of my management skills etc.
I hope.

Oh well, the handphone icon just changed back to the green circle again.
I certainly hope her friend dont talk to me again. Like seriously.
Worked 8am shift ystd, until 230am. I realised I got more to improve on at work than wat I think I shld.
Have to rlly buck up more, studies, work and piano.
Of course, studies will always be my priority.
Piano shld be second actually, but the fact that I wont have money to pay for my lesson if I dont work,
so I conclude that work and piano are on par.(okay I dont even know if it's spelled like this)
Had quite a talk with my teacher during piano today, realised my way of practising was quite wrong.
Gotta correct that, jiayou!!!
Bdw, body aching. Hiatus from work I guess.
Okay rest well everyone(if there's actually anyone seeing this),
nitezz.
 

20/04/2012, Friday.

By ₭₤└√їΩ ￦ºñg
Rest, pondered, and responded.

Okay, no link at all. Just trying to imply that they sound similar.
Nothing rlly links up and makes any sense to me these days.
Well, whoever cares would have cared, and whoever who cared, no longer cares now.
Writing blog posts is now like my only way of arranging watever's messing up inside my mind.
I mean, wat else? Year 2, close friends getting busier, cliques formed in class doesnt mix, own bunch of friends in schl either got extra lessons or dont visit kbox, or are just not that close to be able to understand me I guess.

Okay enough of ranting.
I wanted to talk about ystd actually. Dont rlly have anyone available who understands me or are able to HTHT with me currently so, yaar.

So from the previous post, I said about spraying the seeds blue,
and if there's time allowance, I'd use the permanent marker I brought to draw smiley faces on each of the seeds.
I ended up in the schl's Main Library after schl, with my 2 classmates.
Told them briefly about wat happened and about the present, being very cautious not to say anything wrongly.
In case I rmbed something wrongly. Just, incase. Yaar so,
I asked my female classmate whether I shld draw the smiley faces, cos my mom actually said simplicity can be very nice too.
And my classmate seemed to support that point too. So I dropped the idea of the smiley faces.
And actually, I was still having headache over whether to draw on one or both sides. In the end, tested on one of the five extra seeds I brought, turns out the smiley face isnt going to be so nice too.
And then I rmbed thinking about wat else more I can get.
And my female classmate suggested cake and flower.
Cake!!! How can birthday pass without that!!!!! Wait, how could I have forgotten. -,-
But then I thought, I didnt rlly know wat she likes, as she always seems to eat so little, and I was always the one making the choice for food.
I only rmb that she likes Sparkling Apple juice, Kinder Chocolate bar and my ba kut teh magee.
I dont think there are Apple-flavoured cakes out there. Well, actually that was my 2nd thought.
My 1st immediate thought was that, will she even eat my cake? So then I dropped the cake idea too.
As for flowers, I rmb thinking of blue rose as my 1st idea as her birthday present.

Blue roses was only genetically-manufactured in 2008, after 20 years of research(from Google hahahahahas).
So even if I can find blue ones out there, most probably fake.
But after that I thought, able to get one is better than nothing alrdy.
But by the time I made up my mind, I Googled for flower shops near City Hall,
most of them closes at 6pm.
Only this Excelsior Shopping Centre closing at 7.30pm, stated on the website that it's near City Hall,
where I walked through City link twice, walked through Marina Square, and ended up at some shops in Suntec Convention Centre which I've nvr visited before. Still couldnt find that Excelsior anywhere. Worst part, she was reaching City Hall.
I thought lady luck used to always smile to me. Oh, I actually used the word "used to". Okay -,-
Not wanting to give up, I looked closely at each and every shop as I walked past them on my way back to City Hall to meet her. Ended up in this shop call Prints, which is like Artbox, selling those gift cards/ paper bags/ wrapping paper etc,
with simple and nice designs instead though.
I quickly paused at a blue paper bag, with blingbling. Made up my mind very quickly, I have no idea why.
Maybe due to the fact that she might alrdy be waiting for me.
Paid with nets, left the shop hastily, checking my hair for the last time using my phone's reflective surface,
I finally saw her at the desinated meeting spot. With her good friend.
I completely forgot that her close friends would definitely be celebrating with her. Damn.
That only made the situation even more awkward.
Those lines which I prepared to tell her,
all shortened to, a wave for Hello, "Happy Birthday", and a wave for Goodbye.
Like goodbye for the last time.
And left for separate ways at the same time after I waved.
A minute? Less than that I guess. Maybe 30s. Or shorter.
But that's not the point, how long the whole encounter lasted.
It was how she responded. Yes, the title of this post. Finally got link and making sense.
And I'm actually developing the habit of using my lappie on the floor in my room.
Abit no link. Okay actually she used to do that, from wat I rmb, during CNY.
But I couldnt sit on the floor for long, no backrest, my back will ache. Okay nvm.
Alright, at least I finally found the purpose for my Adzuki beans I picked up myself when I was just a small kid.

Adzuki.
Misspelled it in that text, but doesnt matter, she wouldnt be Googling for the chinese name of that seed to realise its meaning anyw.
Most importantly the small children, if her young cousins visits her house one day, doesnt touch or even eat them, mistaken for chocolate, can result in muteness. Or any other impacts I haven't heard of. So, yaar.
I wondered how she felt after seeing me come and leave ystd. Rlly not much reactions from her.
Her replies became very short after her orientation ended.
Actually her text doesnt bother me, it's how she rlly feels.
Well, hope she'll be reminded of me one day when she ever takes out that present.
I'm still very angry at myself, for not spraying the seeds days before, when I haven't had that idea in mind.
Or else there would not be those holes all over, which wasnt there at first.
I was because of it being in my bag, shaking all over as I walked, and finally given to her,
in some awful state that I cant imagine it's in.
Okay I shld stop. This may sound like putting kelian act. Okay stop.

I actually skipped the part on quarreling with my mom after she reached home with the spray.
Well, the quarreling wasnt because of the spray though.
Some money issue.
I didnt want to reveal those things to her. It's just my principle I guess.
She would be mad to know of the truth. The entire one I mean, not only the one we were quarreling about.
Okay actually that's all about it.

Will rlly take some time for me. She might alrdy be moving on, or actually she might alrdy have moved on rlly far.
Sound like the lyrics in Jay Chou's 妳好吗.
How has she been these days? All I know was that she went overseas, had a great time, spoiled by some strangers who was also going for the trip though. And she rlly hates orientation. Yaar, that's it.
Still friends?
I guess I'm the only one thinking of this question.
Shldnt even have mentioned it in March before. Argh.
I'm still regretting over saying this that time. Nobody except myself to blame.
Okay blaming's not the point now I know.

Wow I realised I rlly typed alot. Wanted to practise piano as lessons ended early today and no one was free to sing with me.
Came home, singing to myself instead. As usual, uncontrollably reminiscing those times.
Okay I shld practise soon, working 8am tmrw. Like finally working again.
And then my final piano lesson of the month for April on sunday.
Jiayou. To her, to me, to anyone who's actually reading my blog(okay count that as myself too),
jiayou to everyone. Studies, relationship, kinship, friendship, personal goals, work, life.
Smiles.

 

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